One cannot help when somebody asks a stupid question totally unbecoming of the situation, or rather out of sheer habit. The only solution: an equally stupid reply.

At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/friends...
Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:- Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here..

In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Stupid Question:- Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:- No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.....why don't you try again?

At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask...
Stupid Question:- Why, why him, of all people?
Answer:- Why? Would it rather have been you?

At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years...
Stupid Question:- Munna, Chickoo! , you've become so big.
Answer:- Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.

When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...
Stupid Question:- Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer:- No,he's a miserable wife-beating , insensitive lout...it's just the money.

When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...
Stupid Question:- Sorry. were you sleeping?
Answer:- No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping...?You dumb witted moron.

When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...
Stupid Question:- Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:- No, its autumn and I'm shedding......

You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks...
Stupid Question: Oh, ! so! you smoke.
Answer:- Gosh, it's a miracle .......it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!!